just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize