Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
