we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We have so much sex to catch up on
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
