just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
