in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
