I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
