WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Hippo gnu deer
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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