it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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