i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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