I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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