I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize