Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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