sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
