Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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