I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
