5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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