all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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