Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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