Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
