The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
