Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
