shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
