69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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