just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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