wat bout pragnant strippers??
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
