i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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