some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
