sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
