sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
