i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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