i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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