Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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