Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize