Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
