Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize