miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
