Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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