Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
