Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
