Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
