So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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