u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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