I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize