Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Actions speak louder than pants.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
