That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm getting married
To pizza
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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