; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I have aggressive nipples.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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