i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
jump out the window naked night went bad
my penis made a compromise with my morals
So. Much. Porn.
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