if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
