How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
