dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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