found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Watching her eat just hurts me
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
