Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
