i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize