What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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