Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
