dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
